In honor of International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day, and in cooperation with Procrastinator's Day and What the Heck was That? Day, I, Miles Flatulatus, Grand High Tuktuk of the Eudyptulan Mysteries, declare the First Annual International Dog Bicuit Appreciation Day Scavenger Hunt.
Here's how it works:
1) Get a friend and a digital camera.
B) Find the items on the following list (not here, you silly, the list will follow)
3) Have your friend take your picture with the items (using the camera).
4) Create an album in the Photos section of this group and upload the pictures into the album.
Here's the rules:
1) No Photoshopping or other style of image manipulation is allowed. Just straight photos.
2) Rampant silliness in the photos is encouraged, and extra points will be awarded by the panel of Judges for the silliest album.
3) No penguins may be harmed in the production of your album.
D) You, yes you!, MUST appear in all of the pictures.
19) The Judges must also publish an album (a complete album, Bucky) but will not be eligible to win prizes or score points.
Q) You must go outside of your homes, dorms, prison cells, etc. and FIND these items. You may not purchase them or already own them.
73,595) All albums must be posted by March 16th, 2006. Extra points will be awarded to the first album posted, but in honor of Procrastinator's Day, late entries WILL NOT be accepted. The judges will post a point count and announce the winners on March 19th (What the Heck Was That? Day), 2006. Decision of the Judges is final. Silly, most definately, but final.
Z) Cheating is encouraged.
CC) Winners must be citizens of the Aerican Empire before March 17th, 2006.
What can I win?: There will be a Grand Prize, a not-so-Grand Prize, an Okay Prize and a Miss Congeniality Prize awarded.
Grand Prize: an autographed picture of His Serene and Silly Highness, Eric Lis.
not-so-Grand Prize: two autographed pictures of His Serene and Silly Highness, Eric Lis.
Okay Prize: a box of dog biscuits, autographed by the judges. In the case that this prize is won by an Aerican subject who lives somewhere that it would be illegal to send dog biscuits to, then we'll only send the box.
Miss Congeniality: a certificate signed by the judges declaring you to be Miss Congeniality and assuring you of all the rights and priveleges thereunto annexed.
In addition, there is a Double Secret Hidden Prize. Any participant who posts ONE picture containing all of the items on the list (remember, no image manipulation!), and themselves, will be awarded the Order of the Tinfoil Halibut. The OTH is the highest award given by the Eudyptulan Mysteries, or would be if they existed. But you can't prove they exist, even if you have the OTH. And if you win this prize you WILL have the OTH. I'll send it to you myself. Believe me, it's spectacular!
Winners are strongly encouraged to send another photo of themselves enjoying their prizes.
1) You, with a penguin.
2) You, with halibut.
3) You, with either the National Standard or the National Symbol (get creative here, remember, you can't own these things, no t-shirts, coffee mugs, etc).
Just three things! Not so hard, really, is it? And a Double Secret Hidden Prize! How can you resist?
So, who are the Judges?: Oh, you'd just love to know that, wouldn't you? Well, okay, then: the Judges are myself and Emperor Eric (who recently said he'd do 'anything he could' to help promote the Empire). We'll teach him to volunteer! Mwha-ha-haaaaa. Ha ha. Ha.
Miles Flatulatus, Grand High Tuktuk of the Eudyptulan Mysteries.
Third Prize and winner of a box of dog biscuits autographed by the judges (Miles Flatulatus and His Most Serene and Silly Highness, Eric Lis): RAVENGIRL!!!! Ravengirl harks from the heart of Psyche, she likes tinned fish fish products and globes of the Earth. A loyal Aerican, she proudly carries a mousepad with the National Symbol on it that she displays when she's "happy." Folks, let's give it up for Ravengirrrrrllllllll!!! Yay!
Second Prize and winner of two (count 'em), two autographed pictures of His Most Serene and Silly Highness, Eric Lis: BERNIE!!!! Bernie, officially known as Bastoid, is a proud resident of Chompsville and is the Royal Cartographer of Aerica. This and two dollars fifty US, will get him a skinny decaf latte at Starbucks. While Bernie did not submit an official entry, he has amazing facial powers which allow him to look just like a halibut or a penguin at will, which the judges could not ignore. Bernie, as first runner-up you will assume the duties of the winner should the winner be unable to carry them out. And since the winner has no duties, this should be an easy task. Ladies & Germs, let's give Bastoid a nice round of applause! Clapclapclapclapclap!
First Prize and winner of one (count it) one autographed picture of HMS&SH Eric Lis: GARRETT 'Darth' NICOLAI. Darth is Verdenese, but a week of bedrest and some penicillin should take care of that nicely. Herm, herm (clearing throat and beginning to sing) "Here he is...Miss First Annual Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day Scavenger Hunt Winner, here he is, your ideal...." etc, etc, until the song is done or I get tired, whichever comes first. Thunderous applause and lots of cheering! Whistling, too, if you're in a place where that's not considered poor form!
Now what beauty pageant would be complete without Miss Congeniality? For his grace under pressure, for his ability to make us laugh insanely and say things like, "He can't be serious", this year's Miss Congeniality is....ZACHARY VANCE! Zach is a Senator from Pasture (my homeland). This alone should have gotten him extra points, but it didn't. I mean, let's face it-"Miss Congeniality" is just another way to say "Big Loser", dontcha think? What? I typed that out loud? Oh, crap...sorry, it's really a nice prize and a great honor, really. Please stop crying, please. Look: here's a cookie!
Everyone who posted a complete album in one picture will be awarded the Order of the Tinfoil Halibut, 3rd Class. Two contestants did just that. For their courage under fire, their cleverness, and their ability to use a digital camera, Darth Nicolai and Zachary Vance are awarded the highest honor that can be conferred by the Eudyptulan Mysteries (if, indeed, the Eudyptulan Mysteries actually exist. You can't prove they exist, nope, you can't. Anyhow, I think it's just a fiction drummed up by wrong-headed conspiracy theorists and penguin eaters.) the Order of the Tinfoil Halibut.
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