An anthem is no mere song. Webster's Dictionary defines a national anthem as "a patriotic song or hymn, especially one adopted officially and played or sung on formal occasions as a mark of loyalty to the nation." An anthem can be said to represent the whole history and great traditions of a nation, and a great anthem stirs the soul and inspires the heart. The national anthem of the Aerican Empire was chosen after years of searching, for it took that long to find a tune and words which encompassed the qualities of the Empire and the many and varied people that populate it. In 2012, the Empire officially adopted an original composition, entitled, "Home Is where I Hang My Towel."
Home Is Where I Hang My Towel
Original lyrics by Eric Lis, Maxwell Fujs and Mike Cutler
To our be loved Emperor
All hail! All hail the Aerican Empire!
THE LESSER-KNOWN SECOND VERSE THAT ALL ANTHEMS HAVE BUT NO ONE EVER BOTHERS TO LEARN
All hail! All hail the Aerican Empire!
The Aerican Nation
The Aerican Nation
Were always on line n-n-never hit the hay (talkin' 'bout The Aerican Nation)
The Aerican Nation
People try to put us d-down (talkin' 'bout the Aerican Nation)
The Aerican Nation
In Nominae Forsteri!
I have seen the many witty people on the mailing list,
In Nominae Forsteri!
Though full is my computer with the Empire inside,
In Nominae Forsteri!
A happy face at all times does my clothing advertise.
In Nominae Forsteri!
Though many dozen countries surely can be found online,
In Nominae Forsteri!
Not the greatest nor the largest nor the oldest is the Empire,
In Nominae Forsteri!
Rejected Anthems
Home Is Where I Hang My Towel is the result of several months' and two composers' hard work. Home Is Where I Hang My Towel began life as a piece of instrumental music composed by Max Fujs after he became an Imperial citizen. An undergraduate studying composition, he offered to write a national anthem that he could use in his portfolio. His music was supplemented by original lyrics written by Eric Lis, who coined the anthem's title. Unfortunately, due to uncontrollable circumstances, Fujs' version of the anthem was never completed and no lyric version was ever recorded. Some months later, veteran composer Mike Cutler offered his own services in the creation of an anthem. The unfinished lyrics from Fujs' project were sent to Cutler, who composed a stirring tune to accompany them. The result was adopted as the Empire's national anthem on May 22nd, 2012, as part of the then-ongoing 25th anniversary celebrations.
Original music by Mike Cutler
Sheet music for the Cutler version
The first verse, sung by Mike Cutler
The original instrumental music by Max Fujs
I hail the Aerican Empire!
A full recording will be uploaded soon. We welcome submissions of variations on this anthem in different musical styles!
Where I've chosen to be.
For home is where I hang my towel
and I've chosen thee!
I pledge my fealty.
My home is where I hang my towel.
This land is for me!
All hail! All hail!
Within certain reasonable limits!
Home is where I hang my towel!
Home is where I hang my towel!
I love Empire,
for home is where I hang my towel.
I have seen the penguins marching
To all of the world's ends;
If home is where I hang my towel,
it's better with friends!
I've visited different lands
I've seen cultures worldwide;
I'll choose to hang up my towel
In the Empire with pride!
All hail! All hail!
Within certain reasonable limits!
Home is where I hang my towel!
Home is where I hang my towel!
I love the Empire,
for home is where I hang my towel!
By Rachkovsky
To the tune of: My Generation by The Who
People try to put us d-down (talkin' 'bout the Aerican Nation)
Battle Hymn of Forsteri
Just because laugh out loud (talkin' 'bout the Aerican Nation)
Things we do often go on H-H-h-hold (talkin' 'bout the Aerican Nation)
and we never do just what were told (talkin' 'bout The Aerican Nation)
The Aerican Nation
It's an Empire Baby, Yeah
Don't try to dig what we all s-s-say (talkin' 'bout The Aerican Nation)
Were not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation (talkin' 'bout The Aerican Nation)
I'm just talkin' 'bout The Aerican N-N-Nation (talkin' 'bout The Aerican Nation)
The Aerican Nation
It's an Empire Baby, Yeah
Just because laugh out loud (talkin' 'bout the Aerican Nation)
Things we do often go on H-H-h-hold (talkin' 'bout the Aerican Nation)
and we never do just what were told (talkin' 'bout The Aerican Nation)
The Aerican Nation
It's an Empire Baby, Yeah
By Anonymous
To the tune of: Battle Hymn of the Republic
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the starships off to war.
Oh they may not be real, but I've imagined them before.
Accompanied by action-figure armies on the floor.
And they go marching on.
In Nominae Forsteri!
In Nominae Forsteri!
Reality, so long!
and I have watched the emperor's iron glove and velvet fist.
And I can read the archives to see what letters I missed.
Because it keeps marching on.
In Nominae Forsteri!
In Nominae Forsteri!
Reality, so long!
From the world of mortals I shall never run and hide.
And never shall I leave home with no towel by my side!
Our culture marches on.
In Nominae Forsteri!
In Nominae Forsteri!
Reality, so long!
It stares out from my necklace with its wide and shiny eyes.
And it glows in the dark, you know, which is a neat surprise.
The smiley marches on.
In Nominae Forsteri!
In Nominae Forsteri!
Reality, so long!
so many are just populated by maybe eight or nine.
And of their people are what I think of as mine.
Our people march right on.
In Nominae Forsteri!
In Nominae Forsteri!
Reality, so long!
Nor the richest or the strangest or the coolest in the mire.
But only one country is mine, and it fills my heart with fire.
The Empire marches on.
In Nominae Forsteri!
In Nominae Forsteri!
Cry Ni! and we've marched on!
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